


The Insidious Urges of the Force

by distantmelodies



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Force Bond (Star Wars), Accidental Voyeurism, Alcohol, Canon Universe, F/M, Finger Sucking, Fingerfucking, Force Bond (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Light Angst, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rough Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:49:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28503288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distantmelodies/pseuds/distantmelodies
Summary: A post-TLJ Rey on a desolate planet feels the pangs of loneliness creep in. As she tries to stave off her indecent urges, she accidentally lets her guard down.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 29
Kudos: 156





	1. The Urge

Rey watched through a tiny square window as the blue sun was setting, a tiny dot low over the horizon. The resistance had set up a temporary encampment on this strange planet, a barren landscape of sandy white soil, dotted sparsely with thin trees with trunks that twisted and curved so that their greyish leaves might catch some light.

It was a true wilderness. There was no native population, and even the animal life was bare. The only creatures Rey had encountered were small, hard-shelled invertebrates that burrowed underground. Nobody could feel at home at a place like this. It was a stopover, a liminal space, a resting place between somewheres.

She was still lonely.

It didn't really make sense to her, now. She had dependable, loving friends in Finn, Poe and Rose; she had mentors in Leia and Maz. It was as close a thing as she ever had to a family, and she adored them, but it still felt that there was a void in her. She felt detached, as if she was separated from the rest of the world by an impenetrable glass barrier.

Well, mostly impenetrable.

She ate her dinner slowly, a meal that reminded her far too much of the portion bread she ate when she was a drudge for Unkarr Plutt. She tried not to think of how much of her life had been wasted in servitude of someone she despised.

"You need a lover," Poe had suggested one night, when they'd had the rare opportunity to indulge in some spirits.

“I seriously hope you’re not suggesting yourself,” she’d retorted, eyeing him with suspicion.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Jedi, you’re not my type,” he’d said, with a cocky smirk across his face, “still, you’d be amazed how much easier life feels when you’ve got a warm body to hold at night.”

Rey’d scrunched her nose at him. “I don’t think I want to talk about this with you,” she’d said, and changed the subject to something less embarrassing. Unfortunately, part of her felt that he was probably right. Rey knew many beautiful and admirable men and women, and she knew her chances with them fared quite well. Her hero status brought her many admirers among the resistance, so, maybe it would have been easy to pick up some rugged, charming mechanic, or that silver-tongued merchant, but she felt nothing for them. She would rather spend her every evening alone than feign attraction to someone. It wasn’t as though the solitude was new to her.

There was a problem with all that, though.

Ben Solo.

She tried not to think of him, fearing that even holding his name or his visage in her mind might reopen the force bond that she held diligently shut ever since their last confrontation. But on nights like this, when she felt her most isolated, her most vulnerable, she couldn’t help but remember.

 _You’re not alone,_ he’d said, the words soft and rich in her ears.

And she’d felt it. That invisible barrier shattering around her, the warmth of another person pouring out. When his dark eyes gazed into her, she didn’t just feel seen. She felt like she was the only one in the whole universe. She felt the things he would do just to have her by his side.

Oh, what she wouldn’t give to feel like that with _anyone else_.

She made the right choice, she told herself. She could never have stayed with someone who so lacked empathy for others, even her friends and his own family. He would have let them all burn. She reminds herself of this in her weaker moments when she thinks of letting him in. She thinks of Finn and Poe and Rose and everyone who believed in her goodness, her righteousness. She would not betray their trust, not even for him.

But still.

It wasn’t as though any of it was her choice. She just wanted to be loved.

What was more insidious were the impulses he had sparked in her. She didn’t quite understand it, herself. Maybe it was a side effect of their force bond, something in the force, something in nature that compelled her. Or maybe it was his low voice, his cold eyes, his long and broad frame, his physicality and unique appearance that stuck in her mind. Maybe it was his ferocity, his passion, his obsessive drive. It was both thrilling and terrifying to be around him, to be the subject of his pursuits.

And alone, in her bed, on a desolate planet, the thought of it all prompted her to bring a hand between her thighs and touch herself. Usually, if she did this, it was a purely physical thing - usually something she did to relieve her stress or boredom. This time it was much more desperate. There were feelings in her that she’d been repressing and stowing away for weeks now, and she craved release. As she rubbed her fingers against her clit, she tried her best not to think of him - but even just picturing him brought her pleasure, so she allowed herself to indulge in it. After all, if it was just her mind, her fantasy, nobody could know or think it wrong.

As she slid a finger inside herself, she imagined how he might do it. Would he take off his gloves - maybe just one glove - and press it slowly but unrelentingly inside her, just one of his fingers easily the size of two of her own. She breathed heavily as she pushed a second one in, intoxicated by her own imagination.

And then she felt a strange feeling, like she was no longer alone. And she looked up, and she saw Kylo Ren standing in her doorway.

He was motionless, and unarmed, just standing there, observing her quietly, his head tilted ever so slightly.

She felt her face redden, more than it had been, and she skittered back, covering her bottom half with a pillow. “Y-you,” she stammered, flushed, completely overwhelmed and unprepared for his presence. “Why are you-”

“I should ask you that,” he said, taking a step closer. “You’ve been shutting me out for weeks, and then… I thought I could feel you reaching out to me. I was curious. And then I find you like this.”

Rey gulped, her heart pounding, beads of sweat forming on her forehead. By thinking of him, she’d accidentally let down her guard and let the gate to their force connection open once again. She hadn’t planned this. If she ever spoke to him again it was going to be in person, she’d thought, when she would inevitably have to face him as her enemy. She didn’t want any more personal conversations. Especially not this kind of personal.

“You don’t have to stop on my account,” he said, looking her up and down, disregarding her defensiveness. “I was enjoying the view.”

“Shut up,” Rey snapped, eyes staring hard into his. “Just go. It was an accident. I don’t want to see you.”

“You and I both know it doesn’t work like that,” he said, moving closer again. “It’s just us here. What are you worried about?”

“You’re the last person I want to see at a time like this,” she lied, defiantly. She was still trembling slightly. She wanted nothing more than for him to touch her, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t admit that.

He smirked slightly, just the corners of his mouth. “If that were true, I wouldn’t be standing here,” he said. “It doesn’t have to mean anything, Rey. Let me help you.”

Slowly, she moved the pillow away. The drapey fabric from the top half of her robes still covered her privates, but her pants were off and her thighs were entirely exposed. “If this is some kind of plot-”

“As far as the rest of the universe is concerned, this never happened,” he said.

He was removing his gloves now. _Oh_.

“And if you want to stay being my enemy, that doesn’t need to change, either,” he went on. “Come. You’ll need to sit on the edge of the bed.”

Rey hesitated, then nodded obediently, realising the logistics of them technically being in different locations meant there would have to be some workarounds. She crawled forward and sat with her legs off the edge, and suddenly felt nervous. She had really never done anything like this with anyone before.

He reached out and gently tilted her chin upwards with the back of his hand. He was dangerously close to her, and she made a mental note that she would not allow him to kiss her. There couldn’t be anything too intimate here - if he wanted to service her then she would not object to it, but she wouldn’t reciprocate, not in any real way.

“Even now you have that fierce look in your eyes,” he said, and he smiled this time, an amused, almost mocking smile, but wow, a smile. He pressed his index and middle finger to her lips. “Suck on them for me,” he said quietly.

She was about to object to that, until she realised why that was necessary. She opened her mouth hesitantly, but before she could decide for or against proceeding he pushed his fingertips in. She let out a quiet, muffled moan as she tasted his skin. He almost tasted like steel - she supposed that his hands had touched a lot of metal, and a lot of blood, too. Once again, she was reminded that he was, in fact, a murderer, and the same hands that had destroyed so many lives were now about to serve her, please her. By all logic, it was abhorrent; the very idea disgusted her - but that wasn’t how it felt. As she rolled her tongue across his fingertips, drenching him in her saliva, she felt like she was fulfilling a divine purpose. And as she looked up at him, she saw a glint in his dark eyes, and she knew he felt it too.

Slowly, he pulled his hand away, and moved his hands to her thighs, lowering his body down so that he was kneeling before her. He moved his hands under her thighs and spread them apart, taking an extra moment to squeeze them, admiring how they were both muscled and soft in his hands. Then he pushed away the fabric of her robes, exposing her vulva. She never expected anyone to see it, but she tended to keep the area relatively trimmed out of comfort and principle, though it was looking a little unkempt now. He didn’t seem to care. He rubbed her clit with his thumb, which elicited a high-pitched gasp from her. Then he inserted a finger - her pussy was already quite wet, but she was still tight, so he went slowly at first, but as she had imagined, he didn’t stop or pull back at all, even when she whimpered. That only seemed to encourage him, and he added the second finger, again, slowly pressing into her, until she was slick and his fingers fit comfortably.

“Good girl,” he purred, and she was about to say, don’t call me that, but then his tongue was on her clit, and she let out a loud cry of pleasure. The feeling of being filled while her clit was also being stimulated, it was - wow, and it was him, and he was doing this for her.

He carried on, licking at her clit gently while he slowly began pulsing his fingers back and forth inside her. “Mmmh,” she moaned, moving a hand through his dark hair and gripping it tightly. Soon, his fingers were pounding her, while his tongue was still moving, and she could barely think straight. “Ben,” she gasped, and she felt him flinch at the sound of his own name, though she couldn’t tell if he was pleased or angry that he used it. She didn’t care, anyway. He wasn’t Kylo Ren when they were alone like this. He was Ben to her.

She could feel surges growing within her - and she felt very glad that the cabins on this settlement were separate and spaced apart from each other, because if anyone heard her she would have had to come up with a very good cover story tomorrow. Hell, they still might - she couldn’t stop herself from crying out whenever he hit exactly the right spot and she felt her whole body pulse with pleasure. And it was building, more and more, until she could barely handle it.

“Ah - Ben - I can’t - it’s too much,” she said, her whole body trembling. She had never brought herself to orgasm before, and not for lack of trying. This was further than she’d ever gotten, and she felt so sensitive and the pleasure was so sharp that it almost hurt her. But he didn’t let up. He increased his pace to a near frantic level, and she could no longer hold on. She fell back against the bed and let the pleasure surge through her. She let out an intense moan as her body rippled with sensation, her legs shaking and her whole body vibrating with the orgasm he had given to her.

“Ben,” she said, reaching out her hand to touch him. He reached forward, and she grabbed his wrist, squeezing tightly. He squeezed her arm back, rubbing her skin gently with his thumb affectionately. So stupid she was to think she could experience this, unfeeling and unaffected. She was in love with him.

After taking a few moments to recover, she sat up, leaning forward, looking at him. “Where did you learn to do that?” she said playfully.

“It’s an ancient Sith technique. You don’t want to know,” he said dryly, and it took her a horrified second to realise that he was joking.

Rey saw his dark eyes flutter, downcast towards her lips. She saw his face inching closer to hers, and though it pained her, she pulled away, turning her head away and clearing her throat.

He stood up, turning away and let out a small scoff, somewhere between amusement and annoyance. "So I can do that, but I’m not allowed to kiss you?" he asked, incredulous.

"That's right," she said, quiet but firm. She knew very well that if she allowed herself to kiss him, she would be lost. She feared that she was already lost to him, anyway, but that was her last line of resistance.

"But you want to," he said, scrutinising her. "I don't need to look into your mind to know that."

"Maybe I do," she said, honestly. "But I won't."

She watched him wrestle with the weight of her words. It frustrated him, she knew. She could tell he was contemplating kissing her anyway, but he must have understood that it wouldn't have the same power if she was in any way unwilling. He was a prideful man. He wanted her to choose him.

Instead, he grabbed a fistful of her hair, and pulled her to her feet, pulling face close to his, so close that she could feel his breath on her cheek. She was shocked by his sudden aggression, but it gave her pleasant goosebumps in a way that she resented her body for.

"You can't resist it forever," he whispered, sending chills down her spine. "When you change your mind, I'll be waiting for you."

But she could feel that he was trembling, too.

And then he was gone. The force connecting them vanished once again, and she was alone.

Rey fell to the floor, feeling a rush of emotions flow through her all at once, and feeling her knees still weak from what he had done to her. Tears welled in her eyes as a million thoughts raced through her head. She hated him. Despised him. But already, she felt empty without him. In that moment, she felt like she would have given up the war, the resistance, the whole galaxy just to be able to lie with him, to hold him and kiss him without pain or consequence.

 _It can’t go on like this,_ she thought, as joy, pleasure and pain swirled together in her chest. What a rush it was just to see him again. What suffering it was for him to leave again.

There were only two ways this would ever end.

They would be together, or they would destroy each other.

Maybe it would be both.


	2. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their last meeting, Rey is tormented by thoughts of Ben Solo. While tipsy, she decides to return the favour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who liked the first chapter - I've decided to do another! I can't promise super regular updates but I'm still enjoying doing these so if you are enjoying it there'll probably be more :)

It was hard to keep up the facade of normalcy. She felt like she was living two lives at once. She trained. She sat in on strategy meanings. She studied the texts. She helped with ship repairs. As far as she could tell, nobody even suspected there was anything different about her. What they didn't know is how her every waking thought was consumed by him.

In training, she channeled her frustration. She imagined her saber removing his beautiful head from his beautiful shoulders; not that she _wanted_ to, but he was an easy target when she was pissed. But then she thought about how powerful she had felt when she fought side by side with him. She thought about how protecting him had come as naturally to her as saving her own skin, and she --- _shut up, brain. This isn't about him._

The meetings were worse. His name came up often, then. "If Kylo Ren is there, our squadron is doomed," they said, "we can't rely on previous intel now that Kylo Ren is Supreme Leader," and "Kylo Ren is the most powerful weapon our enemy has." She flinched every time she heard the name; the others must have thought she was traumatised. She stayed quiet during these discussions, for she could not speak of killing him, knowing that he had saved her, but she could not speak honestly either without revealing her feelings to the rest of the resistance, so many of whom had lost their family, friends and livelihoods to the First Order. She wondered how Leia managed it all. She must have kept it inside, as she did. 

She tried everything to shut away the thoughts of him. But in every quiet moment she found herself reliving the memory of his tongue pressed against her skin - his fingers deep inside her - and she knew it was impossible.

So when the rest of her resistance friends and allies had the rare chance to indulge in some celebratory drinks after their successful mission, Rey decided to partake.

At first, everyone was charmed by tipsy Rey. After about two drinks, she looked deeply at every acquaintance that approached her and told them emphatically how good and brave they were and how lucky the resistance was to have them. 

After four drinks, she started a big game of throwing bottlecaps into a bucket, except she amused everyone by using the force to toss them, though the ratio of caps she actually got in this way was embarassingly low. "If I was sober, it would've been 100%," she said, more than once. 

After six drinks, she was slumped in a booth in the corner, looking like a regular solemn barfly. Finn, Rose and Poe had gathered around her in an attempt to comfort her, and then a desperate attempt pry information as soon as she alluded to having romantic problems.

"You wouldn't understand," she said, along with other vague statements. "He's not a good guy. You'd all hate him. But I think he's in love with me." 

"Oh no, it's not that jerk, Mod, from engineering, is it?" Rose had asked fearfully, to which Rey replied that she had absolutely no idea who that was. 

Sometime after this, they vetoed her attempt to purchase more drinks, walked her back to her room, and said their goodnights there. But Rey wasn't done with her night yet. 

As she devoured a bag of crispy snacks, she devised a plan. Ben Solo's seduction the last time she had seen him had been an act of torture, a cunning plot to tempt her to his side. Well, to even the playing field, she would have to torment him similarly. That was only fair, she thought. 

Even in her drunken state, she still held a firm barrier, shutting herself off to him. Now, she pulled down that barrier, and she reached out to him.

“Ben,” she said.

He was washing his hands - a completely trivial act, but his energy was still focused, intense. He noticed her slowly, turning around to see her, shaking the water from his hands. He was dressed strangely - all black, as usual, but dark, metallic details trimmed the heavy fabric he wore, and his cloak was longer, so long it trailed along the ground. His hair was somewhat coiffed, as it appeared the first time they had met. The cut of his clothes seemed to elongate his body, too, so he seemed even taller than normal. Someone had gone to a great deal of effort to make him appear as a more elegant, put-together edition of himself. 

“Rey,” he said. “Though it’s always a pleasure to see you, now isn’t really the time.” 

“What’s with the outfit?” she asked, taking in his appearance. “Are you going to a party?” 

“A function,” he said shortly, “I’m in the middle of it. And what about your clothes?"

Rey looked down, only just now noticing what she was wearing. It was an oversized grey sweatshirt, standard resistance issue, but a couple of sizes too large. It was the most comfortable thing she owned, and she had thrown it on the second she was by herself. Still, it wasn't without its appeal. It was short, and she wasn't wearing pants, so he got a rare view of her exposed legs, and the fabric was thin enough to show a gentle outline of her breasts. She could tell that he noticed it. 

"It's pyjamas," she said simply. "So this _function,"_ she said, deigning to tease him a little bit, “it must be full of nobles and businessmen and dignitaries, all of those types, right? You must be having the time of your life.” 

His brow twitched with annoyance. “The whole affair is more General Hux’s area than mine. Still, I’m expected to be there.” 

“Of course. Now you’re Supreme Leader, you must be responsible for all sorts of petty nonsense. I’m surprised you aren’t wearing that gold bathrobe.” 

He exhaled both his irritation and amusement. “Are you… drunk? Why are you here, Rey?"

Rey steeled herself. She had to hold her confidence. She would not falter in front of him. Taking a slow step closer, she said, “I guess I had a lot of fun the last time we met.” 

The corner of his mouth pricked up - she could see he was trying not to smile. “I know you did,” he said, “but if you want me to do it again, you’ll have to come see me in person.” 

“No,” she said, moving closer, putting a hand on his chest. “That’s not what I was thinking of.” 

He made eye contact with her, unflinching. Daring her. “What _were_ you thinking, Rey?” 

She glanced behind her, double checking that her door was locked. “You’re alone, aren’t you? Private bathroom or something?”

"Yes," he said slowly, and she watched him double check a lock that was invisible to her, "but my absence will be noticed."

"So what?" she asked, "aren't you their ruler? Do you need permission?"

"No," he chuckled, running his fingers through her hair, which was in a rare undone state, flowing over her shoulders, "I don't." 

Rey leaned into his touch, and at the same time, she moved her hand down his body, unfastening the closures down the front of his - she didn't know what to call it - his doublet? And pulled it open, exposing just a thin, black undershirt which she slid her hand under to caress his abdomen. She traced her fingers across his hips, then lower, gently grabbing at the outline of his bulge, already semi-hard under his tight pants. This elicited a small grunt from him, a sound that delighted Rey far more than she might have imagined.

She rubbed her palm against it, savouring it's thick shape, a little intimidated, but full of anticipation. After a little searching, she found the concealed zip on his pants, and unzipped them, pulling them down to his thighs, exposing tight, soft, black shorts.

She pressed her body close to his, hands running over his firm ass, his now erect cock pressing against her abdomen. This was a mistake, she realised instantly, because it filled her with the near insurmountable urge to have him inside of her, and that was not part of her plan tonight. That was specifically on the list of things she was not allowed to do with him as long as he was her enemy, and so she stepped back. Even in her tipsy state she still had a sense of what was out of bounds. 

Instead, she pulled his underwear down, taking a moment to admire the architecture. She had never really seen a penis in real life and up close like this, so she didn't have much of a point of comparison, but there was an appeal to it that she hadn't imagined. It fit perfectly in her hand, and as she ran her hand up and down it's length she appreciated the feel of it, how it was both so soft and so hard at once, and the way it curved slightly upward. After a few strokes, she licked her fingers to create some lubricant, and began working at it with a little more intensity. 

She would be the first to admit she didn't really know what she was doing, but intuiting what he liked came so naturally to her. She could tell by the way his breathing quickened, or the way his dick twitched in her hand, or the tiny gasps that escaped him when and how exactly she should apply more pressure, of less, or go faster, or slower. Three only overt guidance he gave was when he moved her free hand to cup his balls - she had been so focused, she hadn't even noticed them. 

"Rey…" he whispered, and she savoured the way he drew it out. She took it as a sign that he was ready for the second phase of her plan.

She removed her hand, and slowly, she sunk to her knees, pushing an errant strand of her behind her ear. The head of his cock was nearly touching her lips, and she found herself sizing it up again. She wasn't even sure she could fit it all in her mouth, but she was a little excited to test her abilities. The smell of it was intoxicating - she didn't know why, it ought to have been unpleasant - but his pheromones were engulfing her, and the effect was almost hypnotic. 

She leaned forward, licking the underside first - then she felt his hand twist into her hair, and he pulled her back. 

"What's wrong?" she asked, looking up at him. His hand was trembling, and his grip tightened as he met her eye.

"You can't do that," he breathed, his eyes dark.

"Why not?" 

She saw him gulp, and he averted his gaze. "Because I won't be able to control myself."

The sentence sent a pleasant shudder through her. "What do you mean?" 

"Have you ever done this before, Rey?" He asked, and she shook her head no. "See," he went on, "if you put your mouth on my cock, I'm going to want to shove it down your throat." 

" _Oh_ ," Rey said, in a way that somehow conveyed both discomfort and ecstasy. After all, that did sound unpleasant, and yet the words had prompted a physical response from her, the wetness between her thighs now tangible. "Well," she said slowly, "think of it as an exercise… in self-discipline," she said, and without wanting for a response, she took the head of his cock in her mouth.

He let out a pained moan, hand tightening in her hair again. Slowly, she took it in deeper, sucking gently, letting her tongue roll across its surface. Once she gagged, and so she pulled back, taking a second to catch her breath. She looked up at his face - patient, but expectant, and so she dove down again. The taste was like the scent; by all logic, it ought to have been disgusting, but it was delicious to her. She slowly began to find a rhythm and a comfortable angle, and judging by the sounds he was making she was getting it right. 

"Fuck, Rey…" he moaned, and before she had a chance to relish in it, he bucked his hips into her, forcing himself all the way into her throat, her lips up against the base of his shaft.

She let out a muffled cry of surprise but she didn't pull away, and so he continued, pulling her head back by her hair and then back into him. It was a lot for her to handle, but his frantic displays of desire were perhaps her biggest turn-on, and she felt a certain level of pride attached to exceeding his expectations. Only when she felt the protest of her gag reflex did she pull back, pushing his hips back with her hands, too, and he released his grip on her hair.

"I did warn you," he said quietly, and though it sounded arrogant, Rey could tell it was his way of asking permission, asking if it was too much.

"I know," she said, taking a moment to catch my breath. "I know," and she took him in her mouth again. 

This time she struck a balance, finding a comfortable angle where she could take his entire length with relative ease, and she gradually increased the place. She would make him feel what she felt. 

This seemed to work for him, as his hands found their way in her hair again, but more gently this time, like he just wanted to _touch_ her. His breath was quickening, though, and his gasps and moans were becoming more intense.

"Rey," he said, voice trembling, fingertips trembling, "I'm close."

She gave a little grunt of acknowledgement, and she pressed into him, holding his click in her throat, pressing his hand into her as if giving him permission to use her. He thrust into her a couple of times before letting out a melodic moan, spilling his come in her mouth and pulling out.

Rey swallowed it without question, wiling the residue off her lips with the back of her hand. He sunk to the floor, leaning against an invisible wall - which made her realise she'd completely forgotten that he wasn't physically _there_. She admired the contented look in his half-lidded eyes. He so rarely looked peaceful, let alone happy, and she felt glad to have brought him that, if only for a moment.

She sat across from him for a little while, stroking his calf mindlessly, aware that she should leave, but she didn't _have_ to leave until _he_ became aware that she should leave, and he was a little out of sorts now, so she took the opportunity to touch him for just a little longer.

"I… I guess you'd better get back to your party," she offered, reluctantly. "They might think you were assassinated."

"Hm?" he said, suddenly returning to reality. "Ah, you're correct," he said. "Much more dull than spending time with you, though."

Rey couldn't help herself. He was looking at her with gentle eyes, enormous and dark, and she wanted to give him everything. She was entitled to just one display of earnest affection. She leaned forward slowly and kissed him softly on the cheek. 

"Goodnight, Ben," she said, and she disappeared from him again.

She climbed into her own bed, hugging her pillow. She was making it worse, she knew that. But if she felt so deeply good, if she felt so completely and correct with him, the must have been a part of him that was still good, in spite of everything. 

She had to hope that he would see that, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Me writing a Reylo fic is long overdue, let me know if you'd like to see more and I could potentially make this a multi-chapter series. Thanks!


End file.
